


Too Much or Not Enough?

by ashillustrates



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Confusion, Foreign, Gay Keith (Voltron), Inspired by Bloom Into You, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Strange feelings, keith helps, klangst, lance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28321137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashillustrates/pseuds/ashillustrates
Summary: “What does love feel like?”A common question, primarily from children. But Lance has had that question all his life. Once he’s with the alien princess, Allura, he thought he’d be complete. But he’s still stuck. The process is repeating. And he seems to be all alone.
Relationships: Allura & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Foreign

**Author's Note:**

> The introduction of Lance’s goal.

The first time Lance felt a warm feeling, where it was in the center of his chest, was when he had his first kiss. It was with a girl. A girl with, what he now assumes, a warm heart. But as years went by, the memory of her dulled and faded away. He had just turned 13.

The warm feeling didn’t last for more than _that_ kiss.

The other times of kisses were similar or even less than the first. Girls who were as young as him, as foolish as him. As wanting as him. But he felt a heaviness in his chest each time.

A hole in his heart. He would always cling to that feeling and be driven by it. So there was never a “one last kiss”.

There was always something.

———

The most recent kiss was with another girl. But she felt different this time. Her eyes were a sky blue, sapphires sparkling within when the sun shined on them. A smile, bold and proud, was ever so gorgeous when it appeared on her face. Her hair of white flowed through the winds, grazing the tips of his fingers.

This felt different.

It _was_ different.

The feeling didn’t go away in an instant. It didn’t go away in an hour. Didn’t go away in a few days. It stayed.

It stayed for a month. Then two. Then three. The kisses were warming, soft, and welcoming. It was so different. He finally felt like what he wanted was right in front of him.

.

.

.

“Dear Diary,

I want to say I’m in love with Allura. I want to say I’m in love. But it’s fading again. The feeling’s going away again. Why does this keep happening to me? I want this feeling to stay. It’s been 5 months. I can’t not go through with this. It’s unfair! Unfair to her…

I don’t know what else to do.

Please…

Help me.”

Tears stained the page as he stared into an abyss. An abyss of emptiness and doubt. There was always a light too far to reach, his hand reaching out for it forever. He can never just have what he wants. He wants love.

But if love is so warm, if it’s supposed to last forever…

Why is he always so cold and lonely?

Why can’t he just stay in love with her?

Is he meant to be alone?

Maybe…

**“Maybe I’m just that worthless…”**


	2. Heart Hidden Behind The Sleeve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anguish? Or perish?
> 
> “Loving someone can take time.”
> 
> But why does it take forever?

Watching and waiting.

He watches people. People loving and being **loved**. Talking and being **talked to**. Hearing and being **heard**. 

She was being heard. She was being talked to. She was being loved. But he knew it wasn’t by himself.

His chest was filled with a heaviness, his body felt so cold, like he was in an ice. He couldn’t even move. So wanting to reach for her hand, like he used to, something pulls him back. An old friend. An old enemy.

The enemy of the lost.

The friend of being alone.

He notices. She’s looking at him. Eyes bright and full, she’s looking. She’s paying attention. A tightness fills his throat as he forgets speech. But no fluttery feeling, no warmth in his cheeks from delight, almost nothing appeared. Nothing but the warmth of embarrassment.

“Is something wrong, Lonce?” Her tone was light. Something his feelings weren't. It stung him. 

But he owes this to her. Right? She’s done so much for him. This is his payment. _Right?_

He shook his head, pulling a smile. “No.” He chuckled. “I’m just forever charmed by your beauty, is all,” he explained, giving a wink. Allura rolls her eyes, but is smiling too.

Even her name is odd now.

But it’s only now he notices something else. Something tense. Something yet to be uncovered.

He turns his head.

And meets Keith’s eyes. He was shocked instantly. His stomach felt sick, bubbling in something nasty. His head whipped downward, his fists clenching to the point nails dug into his skin. Eyes starting to burn from tears.

This is where it all started.

This is where the friend of loneliness started to become an enemy. 

**Keith Kogane**. The **prodigy**.

The feeling of hatred. Or something else.

Something else entirely.

Despite the ugly feelings, almost worn on his sleeve, he feels something else. It’s the only reason he’s continued this game for as long as he has.

**Familiarity**.

“What’s your problem now?” He hears him say, but he doesn’t respond. His immediate reaction would scorch. It’d start what was locked away long ago, but slowly blooming again. Once again, he shakes his head. Out of different fear of the unknown rather than of being caught.

“I don’t have one, mullet.”

He always does, though.

But he doubts he’ll ever open his heart to those emotions.

The _ugly_ , _worn out_ sleeve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Lance...
> 
> You poor boy.
> 
> . . .
> 
> Another short chapter, I think! Sorry is that’s disappointing, I tried my best ^^; But I wanted to try to be more direct with this one, so if you can find out hints, I’m assuming that’s good!

**Author's Note:**

> This one is short, but I hope this is good for a first chapter! I haven’t written on ao3 before, so I don’t know too much yet. But thank you for reading!


End file.
